By Mike Atherton
The blood that flows through you is not your own. It belongs to the Creed.
1. Abstergo Industries – Assassin’s Creed
Michael Fassbender is saved from execution by the (probably) sinister Abstergo Industries and set on a new path of running, jumping and concealed stabbing implements in Assassin’s Creed. Taking place in the same universe as the game franchise, but introducing entirely new characters and storylines, we can’t wait to see the latest adventures of the historical assassin.
Bring back life form. Priority One. All other priorities rescinded.
2. ??Weyland-Yutani ??? Alien
Back in 1979, the reveal that Ripley???s shipmate Ash was in fact a murderous duplicitous android was almost as shocking as the baby monster crashing breakfast via poor John Hurt???s chest. But when Ripley finally destroys Weyland-Yutani???s original chance at an organic weapon at the end of the first film, the firm has to try again in the sequel, this time hoping to use Ripley and Newt as human hosts for the titular creatures. In fact this single corporation casts a long shadow over the entirety of the Alien franchise, but it was only in Prometheus that we met Peter Weyland (Guy Pearce), the founder himself who is ultimately undone by one of his own creations.
You're all going to die down here.
3. Umbrella Corporation – Resident Evil
With what promises to be the final film in the franchise looming on the horizon, it’s worth remembering that you can’t have a great, long-running zombie/monster/what-the-hell-was-that-thing-Apocalypse without an evil company prepared to set the whole thing off. Ostensibly a pharmaceutical company, Umbrella was actually interested in weaponised viral experiments. The result? The creation and accidental escape of the T-virus. On the downside, it wiped out humanity as we know it, but on the upside it ushered in a whole new world of Milla Jovovich jumping in slow motion.
We're not programmed. We're people, do you understand?
4. Lunar Industries - Moon
Even a few years after we first met Sam Bell it’s hard not to get choked up at the thought of the poor guy on the moon counting down the days until he can ditch his job and see his family again. If only he could get a real-time video feed to work, but the long-range comms always seem to be down… thankfully he has the robot GERTY for company. Of all the companies that do wrong in favour of the bottom line, Lunar Industries is possibly the worst. We can only hope that the firm finally gets its comeuppance in Duncan Jones’ Mute, which has just finished filming and is set in the same universe.
I thought we agreed on total body prosthesis. Now, lose the arm, okay?
5. Omni Consumer Products - Robocop
Lots of evil corps seem to accidentally create the hero that eventually brings them down. In 1987, Robocop imagined a 2043 where cops were all too human, prone to strike action and, more importantly, not completely owned by Omni Consumer Products. The remains of a dead(ish) cop were used to rebuild the corporate future of law enforcement. Poor Officer Murphy’s rights go out the window, along with most of his body, but once he’s regained his humanity he gets to take out both the blue-collar and white-collar criminals!
Assassin's Creed is out 1st January; get times and tickets here.
